How to win the heart of an Asian Bride

Gifts

The following are all popular gifts with Asian women:

• flowers
• chocolates
• gift baskets
• photos of your home town/family
• cosmetics and jewellery

Faux Pas to avoid

• Giving a ring as a normal present: this can be interpreted as a marriage proposal.
• Public displays of affection and emotion: these are frowned upon and a calm demeanour at all times is encouraged
• Casual dress: a smart appearance will command far greater respect respectfully.
• Rudeness towards your bride?s family : this is especially true of meeting her elderly relatives.  In the Philippines, to show special honor use the terms ?lolo' and ?lola'.  For greater honor, place their hand on your forehead.

For further information read the Chicago private libary's article on Asian etiquette.

Dating

A typical Philippine courtship (?ligawan?) consists of several stages, ensuring the family approves the match and that all the necessary arrangements are in place for the ceremony.

The modern Philippine relationship;

• The modern Filipino courtship now begins with e-mail and love letters, although the traditional systems of poetry and song are still practiced.
• Going steady (?magkasintahan?) then follows, as does the groom?s proposal (?pagtatapat?) after a suitable period of time.
• Following the engagement, it is customary for the bride and groom?s parents to meet (?pamanhikan?) to discuss the formalities of the wedding ceremony.
• The announcement (?pa-alam?) is the next stage, involving visiting the people who matter most to the couple and informing them of the wedding to secure their blessings.
• To ensure the wedding day runs smoothly, egg offerings are made to Saint Claire (?alay ng Itlog kay Sta. Clara?) in the hope of ensuring a rain-free wedding day, even though traditionally a rain shower is believed to bring bountiful blessings to a marrying couple.
• Finally, confession before marriage (?kumpisal?) takes place with a priest a few days prior the wedding to cleanse the couple of sins committed during single hood and to prepare them for marriage.

Marriage Traditions

The Wedding Outfits

Women: custom made white wedding dresses are now commonplace due to Western influences, replacing the traditional Filipino dress.  Traditional orange blossom bouquets and adornments are still seen occasionally.

Men: the conventional black tuxedo is becoming more popular, replacing the traditional barong tagalong (embroidered shirt).

The Ceremony

The majority of Filipino weddings are now Catholic weddings, but some native traditions remain.  Here is a selection:

• a single candle is lit by the bride and groom to symbolise their union
• a white veil is placed over the bride's head and the groom's shoulders to symbolise two people clothed as one.
• a decorative silk cord, or vugal, is arranged in a figure-eight shape over the shoulders of the bride and groom to symbolize everlasting fidelity.
• the groom gives the bride 13 coins, or arrhae, blessed by the priest, as a sign of his dedication to his wife's well-being and the welfare of their future children. 

Weddings at work have more information about Philippine weddings.  One you have married, please be supportive of your wife as she relocates to a country that is foreign to her.

Sexual Conduct with Asian Women

In contrast with many Western countries, the majority of Asian brides are virgins up until the day they are married and girl's purity in this respect is sacrosanct.

Travelling to the Philippines

Visas: For most foreign visitors visas are not needed for stays of less than 21 days. Three-month visas can be obtained in advance and cost around US$35. Multiple-entry visas (lasting six and 12 months) are also available but are expensive and only allow for stays of 59 days at a time. Visa extensions are possible and generally faster to obtain in regional areas.

Tourism: 1.2 million visitors per year

Language: although there are 80 dialects in total due to the geography and history of the Philippines, English remains the language of commerce and politics.

Recommended reading includes Lonely Planet's travel guide to the Philippines.
 
 

Further information on Asian Brides

• Brides-4u's Bride Search
• Brides-4U section about Asian Mail Order Brides
• What to expect from Asain Brides (Brides-4U)
  

Article by Emma Newlands
© Brides-4U Ltd